Friday, June 21, 2002

Friday 21 June 2002
look it's a football match, not the end of the world

actually the end of the world is not that far away, see topical sonnet

Asteroids nil, Earth one
The longest day

One week ago, the boffins tell us now,
An asteroid near coupled with the Earth
In twenty megatons, (that’s some kerpow!),
The planet would have got an early bath.
Ironically this lump of stellar dust
Was said to be the size of a football
Pitch. That’s so big, it very nearly pushed
The past eight days to one last photo-call.
Just think, the Queen has missed her jubilee,
The World Cup never gets beyond group stage,
The French are still in, so are Italy,
The ref looks down to signal an ice age;
While Beckham never takes his penalty;
As History stops and holds the times’ front page.

Friday 21 June 2002

something later on the match. ok?

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Wednesday 19 June 2002
in the heat and a state of high excitement...
so here are a couple of topical sonnets to mark the week so far...

Allez les bleus

Blue was the colour, football was the game,
C’est malheuruesement le fin du jeu
Pour vous, francais; it’s such a crying shame;
Your monde is now a deeper shade of bleu.

In Buenos Aries bars a tango beat
Will welcome home the weary Argentines,
So gracious as you are in your defeat,
Rhapsodic on a dozen violins.

And yesterday, a million fans in Seoul
‘Bad luck, Azzuris, footy nation vexed’,
Sent home to Rome by one sweet golden goal,
And you will not win this cup, nor the next.

As both the early favourites go out
The way is cleared for underdogs to shout.

Wednesday 19 June

and over the weekend the country was gripped by further excitement as the Queen's Jubilee Honours List was published... yawn


He kneels before a throne of burnished gold,
One wonders what could be the main attraction?
The Rolling Stone who came in from the cold,
At last Sir Mick can get some satisfaction.
With gongs and bells and whistles we oblige
Noblessely; honi soit qui mal y pense,
The honours system deemed to recognise
You worthiness, your weasely reverence.
Sir Elton, Macca, Bobby, Cliff, arise,
Dame Judy, Maggie, Cilla, form a line,
We commoners await the Lords demise.
When one considers where you stand behind
The Right Hon St John Tufton Bufton (Bart)
One wonders just who gives a regal fart?

Tuesday 18 June

Thursday, June 13, 2002

Thursday 13 June

what do you mean, is there a danger of getting obsessed by the World Cup?

latest topical sonnet follows..

Sailing into the second round

OK, we’ll take a goalless draw, nil-nil,
But only as the Argentines go out;
And after Denmark, just bring on Brazil,
Let’s not go with a rasher but a shout.

The hardest part was getting into work,
And working how to turn the alarm off,
And putting up with colleagues and their talk
Of deadlines – Look it’s footy, right, enough

Already, thoughts turn to the Danish threat
Of bacon frying. How ‘Viking’ is Sven?
Just three days left to go and place the bet
Of singing Blunderful Copenhagen.

We know the boys will score in open play,
Let’s hope it happens soon, on Saturday.

Thursday 13 June

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Wednesday 12 June
before the game

The Night Before the Game

You see him now the hour before the dawn;
He moves from camp to camp and fire to fire,
Where huddled fans lie waiting for the morn;
He pauses, breathes encouragements inspire.

The field of France is won without a fight,
Another Agincourt heralds the day,
A little touch of David in the night;
For goals and tight defence, oh, let us play.

The Irish, lucky sods, had made it through
The groups. The Bushmills and the Guinness flow;
And for the French the day is moody blue,
The game as played by Inspector Clouseau.

But England fans must yet endure their fate;
They suffer nerves who also stand and wait.

Wednesday 12 June 2002
7.15am BST

Monday, June 10, 2002

Monday 10 June 2002
after Nottingham
after Louth

and the jubilee party in Father's garden...

but more importantly... a topical sonnet to celebrate...

Let joy be unconfined

So, England one, and Argentina didn’t.
The country called in late and called in sick,
The nation’s pride arose in waves unbidden;
Sven found a pantheon of gods to pick.
A game of three halves in Sapporo’s Dome;
How long can England hang on to their lead?
The crowd starts singing, ‘Football’s coming home.’
‘Just blow the whistle, ref,’ as one, we plead.
England, inspired by Captain Superbecks
Who leads the line of fire; the ways of zen
Infuse the mind; sinews and muscles flex;
The meta-tarsals sing in tune again.
And Sven makes football feels like tantric sex;
The Argies, nil; the foot of god, one (pen).

Monday 10 June 2002

Thursday, June 06, 2002

Thursday 6 June 2002

so at last a topical sonnet about the important event over the weekend...

England 1 Sweden 1

The roller coaster tight white-knuckle ride
That is the lot of every England fan,
(Konichiwa, oh David Beckham-san),
When agony and ecstasy collide.
Eleven fifty four, that’s UK time,
A nationwide, collective English roar
Of goooaaal, as sixty million people score,
Replaying Beckham’s cross and Campbell’s climb.
But then, calamity, alas, alack,
The England midfield give the ball away,
And Sweden’s tactics start to control play,
Till Niclas Alexandersson strikes back.
This game of two halves – no good for the heart,
As England triumph, and then fall apart.

3 June 2002

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Wednesday 5 June 2002
London after Nottingham

gasp... the Jubilee, the world cup.. so much and so little time to put the topical sonnets together..

bear with me, chums...

Saturday, June 01, 2002

Friday 31 May 2002
London, Nottingham

the start of a feast of footie...
so here is a topical sonnet

The opening – World Cup 3

They’re over-paid and sexed and over here,
They’ll fight and cuss and drink for all they’re worth;
The world’s press have arrived in South Korea,
Like lemmings from four corners of the earth.
With cliches ready tucked inside their macs,
And angles calculated by degrees,
A feast of football served up by the hacks,
And games of two halves guaranteed to please.

Les champions du monde, l’equipe francais
Have opened their defence in muted style,
Le Boef, Henri, Wiltord et Fab Bartez
Will reach match fitness in a little while.
By keeping tightly focused on the ball
The first blood has been drawn by Senegal.

Friday 31 May 2002